Monday, September 21, 2015

THE MOUSE THAT RACED A JET (AND WON)

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Hungry AA/FD contestant Joe "The Jet" Jackson gets a nerf from his trusty Cadillac hearse at Fontana Drag City. As it turned out, Jackson's supposedly unique circumstance was being paralleled in an opposing universe, located only a few calendar pages and a few miles away. (Photographer unknown)

The black hole of the latest Cartech book has finally released me back into the wild. That book is now being prepped for print, but until it lands on store shelves, it must remain a mystery. Loose lips sink ships, and all that corporate paranoia...

Once released (sometime this winter), I can share more of the book with you. For now, a tease is all you get. I told a lot more stories than would fit into the contracted page count, so there is a bounty of tasty leftovers coming soon to this blog. Only upon finally finishing the project did I become aware of the sleeping stories I couldn't see for the task at hand. Here's one now:

The state of Maine hosted a fervent drag race scene in the mid-Sixties, but the southern California-based magazine publishers sourced their content locally, so that's what you read about in Maine. Those glorified tales of mechanical and driving heroics (and tantalizing purses) ultimately inspired Joe "The Jet" Jackson to load his entire AA/Fuel Dragster operation into his Caddy hearse and chart a course from Jefferson, Maine to Fontana, California's inaugural "200 MPH Invitational" meet in early November of 1965.

Jackson lived in the hearse the entire way to California, in hopes of rationing his meager budget. He arrived at Drag City's Invitational exhausted and hungry, but he arrived. Then Jackson failed to qualify for a Top Fuel field consisting largely of  "little guys" like himself. The only entry requirements were a 200 MPH time slip and a set of Mickey Thompson rods in the block, but Jackson had neither. He jangled around the Los Angeles drag scene for a few weeks, hoping for a lucky break. What Jackson got instead only rhymed with luck, as he was killed at Lions while test-driving an unproven dragster for a total stranger. Joe Jackson died penniless, 3,000 miles from home. His epic cross country journey could be considered a success, as he followed his dream to the source. Not everyone gets to do that in life. But the ultimate result of The Jet's quest remains open to interpretation.

A teenaged Stanley "Mouse" Miller surveys the possibilities, from somewhere on the 1965 car show circuit. With support from his parents (mom shipping orders and dad acting as manager), Mouse raked in an average of a hundred bucks a day, while his contemporaries had paper routes. (Photographer unknown)

The California Pied Piper's merry melody was also heard that pre-psychedelic year of 1965 in Detroit, Michigan. That's where Stanley Miller had caught wind of the tune a few years beforehand, and whistled it non-stop as he airbrushed monster shirts and striped cars at shows across the country. But Miller caught a whiff of something other than just nitro fumes on the West Coast breeze. He and his girlfriend followed the scent to northern California in a new hearse (complete with a legit delivery contract, and a "Make love, not war" sticker on the back window), and arrived at San Francisco's  Longshoremen's Hall just as the Trips Festival kicked off inside (the largest of the Merry Pranksters' "Acid Tests"). Wiped out by the long haul, Miller fell asleep in the hearse, and missed the entire show. But he awoke at his destination, which turned out to be an artist's paradise. Miller (who's father was a Disney artist, earning Stanley his eternal "Mouse" nickname), made his first California connections when befriended by the members of "The Warlocks" blues and jam band, who's last concert he had just snored through. The band had recently decided to change their name to "The Grateful Dead", and needed artwork for posters and album covers. Mouse was drafted on the spot for the job. Maybe the hearse was a factor, maybe not.

Unlike The Jet, Mouse went on to unprecedented success in his field, following his epic hearse ride. His Grateful Dead art helped usher in the psychedelic era that once partly defined San Francisco, and ultimately, a unique and pivotal era of American history. 

Behind the scenes, Mouse's (unnamed) girlfriend faced a similar challenge to that of Joe Jackson's loved ones. During the height of Mouse's fruitful partnership with fellow Bay Area artist Alton Kelley, his sweetheart presented this ultimatum: "Either move to the country with me, or stay here and make posters with Kelley." Upon hearing Mouse's answer, she purportedly threw his ink bottle across the room, inking herself, the Mouse, and several pieces of finished artwork. Then she walked out and never returned. Such is the price we pay for our passions.

While the Jet story was discovered during research for the above-mentioned book, the Mouse info came from a recent feature in the San Francisco Chronicle, promoting the "Celebrating Fifty Years of the art of Stanley Mouse" exhibit at the San Francisco Art Exchange. That piece concludes with this reassurance: "He still does hot rod stuff, too."


Mouse Droppings:

Early promotional card.

Pickup tonneau cover painted at 1958 show.


Mid 60's catalog cover.


Mouse infested Rolls Royce in San Francisco.


How a mouse pays for a Rolls Royce.


1970's promo shot.


With team-mate Alton Kelley ("The idea man").


Fifty years on and still at it.




And, "He's still doing hot rod stuff." (Images courtesy of Stanley Mouse collection)



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UPDATE

The dust never gets a chance to settle at Marty Strode's Strode Racing Equipment shop, outside of Portland, Oregon. This week was a typical example, as work continues on Pat Ganahl's Spalding Bros. Special recreation, as narrated by Marty hisself.

"Too Tall Ganahl and his wife Anna dropped by the shop this week to see the new roadster in person."

"Pat also delivered the Dennis Webb-built seat (a B-17 copy) and decided to try it on for size."

"With Pat's height, it will be a bit of a challenge to mount the steering and controls to fit him, but we're going to have some fun with this car."


Ganahl demonstrates how he earned the Too Tall nickname with his loyal daily driver Volkswagen. (Photo courtesy of Gene Routh)



"The Pat Warren axles were built in the 40's and 50's. I think Warren owned Downey Machine. He built quickchange rears for everything from Midgets to Indy cars. He offered a two-speed for Indy, as well. The V-8 center section and side plates are rare pieces these days. I found the center in Kansas, and the 'live axle' side plates were donated by a fellow hot rodder from Perth, Australia. The axle, torsion bars, and other features made the Spalding Special unique back in '49, when it was built."


"Time to get the rear axle mocked-up and positioned, so I can build and mount the rear radius rods. The axle in the pictures is a Halibrand V-8 housing that I had laying around, and a Sprint Car axle that I widened for mounting purposes. It will serve the purpose to continue the construction of the car, as we get the Pat Warren center section and side plates fitted to the proper rear axle." (Photos courtesy of Strode Racing Equipment)



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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

An amazing photo from Motormouth Ray's pal Honda John! Nice shootin', Tex! I don't know that I'd have the presence of mind in this situation to grab the camera, set up the lighting, focus, or even activate the shutter. (Photo courtesy of Honda John)


Odd that the Grateful Dead filled half a dozen semi trucks with gear, but only carried this small wooden toolbox on the road. The road crew really had their act together! (Image courtesy of Stanley Mouse collection)

GRIN

Stanley Mouse self portrait (Image courtesy of Stanley Mouse)

MORE MOUSE AND DROPPINGS:









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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

VOTE SCOTTY IN 2016

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Competition improves the breed? To a point. A point now long gone. Maybe we should just run Time Only for a while, fellow Americans... (Scotty shot)


Other than a chronic case of stagefright, I'm pretty stoked about my September 27th live solo gig at the Henry Gregor Felsen Memorial Car Show in Des Moines, Iowa. I'll be playing acoustic versions of the songs slated for the 3rd Scotty Gosson Combo album. Stage jitters tend to bring out the wiseass in me, so I'm bound to make some lame attempt at a presidential campaign announcement. It's apparently what one does in Iowa.

God only knows how I'll feel about it on the 27th, but if nominated today, my platform would be based on two simple points. Yes, I can be just as simplistic as The Trump. Like him, I have no clue how I would actually accomplish these goals, but here they are:

1. Abolish the party system. The us-versus-them perspective so pervasive in our society has brought us to the brink of collapse. It quit working for us way before our lessons learned with the Civil War. Now drastic measures are required to assure that we're truly all in this together. Voting during my term would parallel the state system, with an annual national ballot of issues. Elections and measures would both be decided by popular vote. Say goodbye to Lobbyists, Congress, House of Reps, Department of Redundancy Department, etc. The initial plan was to replace these parasites with robots, but with the people's vote, we won't even need robots (though they may replace law enforcement and military personnel).

2. Eliminate the Haves and Have-Not discrepancy, via a flat tax. This sets the scene for perhaps the most radical change of all: An across-the-board "comfortable living wage". Every American, regardless of race, creed, sex, or power-adder of choice, would make the exact same hourly wage. Work more, make more. Work less, make less. Period.

The above changes should re-establish a genuinely United States of America. It would also save our country enough money to easily finance Stage Two of my brilliant plan: A term-long moratorium on non-emergency foreign affairs. No invading countries, hopping into bed with countries, telling countries how to do their business, and generally meddling with everyone's business but our own. For one term (length determined by popular vote), we become Switzerland, and address the corrosive issues we've been avoiding at all costs, such as racism, sexism, gun control, infrastructure, education, poverty, immigration, climate change, mental illness, veterans affairs, environmental responsibility, senior care, and childcare, to name only a few. We must also address our shameful lack of drag strips in this country. 

Yeah, I live in a cartoonie fantasy world, just like the current poll leader. Is it possible for Joe Toolbox to make any impact on the election? Dare he dream of stealing it away from Monty Burns? What say ye, registered voters? See you in Iowa.

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UPDATES:

SGE Corporate Correspondent Elana Scherr is on assignment this week

Keeping a low profile, somewhere on the Drag Week trail. (Photo courtesy of hotrod.com)

Last week, master fabricator and all-around hot rod legend Marty Strode showed us how he scratched out the .095" wall 7/8" O.D. DOM front radius rods for Pat Ganahl's Spalding Special recreation. Join Marty today for the rest of the story.



The radius rod gussets we showed you last week were merely aluminum templates. Marty knocked out these steelies with his plasma cutter and buzzed 'em in.

And the finish-welded junction at the rear of the assembly.

One last admiring look before freeing the radius rad from the jig. Note: No cute stuff in Marty's shop. Just what works.


Hey Marty, wanna narrate this for the kids? "The completed radius rods, installed on the chassis for mock-up. When the spread of the front mounting is finalized (the torsion bar arms and lever shocks will dictate the proper location), I'll roll the proper caster (seven degrees) into the front axle, and tack-weld the brackets. The next step will be the mock-up of the 'live' quickchange rearend, and building the chrome moly rear radius rods." Thanks Marty! Check Ganahl's mock-up version of his 292" GMC six. This thing is already so cool... (Photos courtesy of Marty Strode)

SGE Eastern Europe correspondent Maria Panova has been busy...

... she got a new shirt. My Russian is a little rusty, but I believe this says, "Vote Scotty in 2016".


A recent trip to Thailand netted these new shoes and ankle bracelet.


And last weekend, Maria blew the end off of the turbo inline 6 in her eight second Toyota Soarer during a failed boost/nitrous experiment at the track. She survived the explosion without injury, but popping the hood revealed a five-cylinder engine...


 ... so it's back to the old grind to hustle up funds for another block. (Photo courtesy of Sharp Shotz)



Luckily, Maria loves her work and is very good at it. (Photos courtesy of Maria Panova)

Shocking news from America's leading man, Shawn O'Brien: His iconic '59 Chevy Parkwood wagon is up for sale. No explanation and no details yet, but Shawn can be found on Facebook and the HAMB. The Parkwood has been thoroughly road tested, and passed with flying colors. (Photo courtesy of Trent Sherrill)

                   
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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

Just a reminder. Be sure to vote for someone next year, or lose your whining rights.


We've mentioned David Belau's blog here before (https://dartslantsix.wordpress.com/). David recently revealed this generic rollaway (with what appears to be a Snap-On top box) to be the key to his successful grassroots Mopar builds. David's dad scored the unit at a yard sale. Bonus points for the One Eyed Jack Vader magnet. Rare! (Photo courtesy of David Belau)

GRIN

Be a patriotic rebel! Get Go Power! Vote Scotty in 2016!


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Monday, September 7, 2015

ROAD TESTING THE CHRYSLER 200

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It's time to merge with the herd. I'm trying. I really am. If it happens, it'll be a slow process.

Last week at the dentist, I found a year-old copy of Autoweek in the waiting room. It featured a nice profile on Jim Marshall's photography of famous rock stars and their cars. After reading (and enjoying) the feature, I browsed the magazine and realized it was a special edition, bought and paid for by Chrysler Corporation to showcase their 2014 performance car lineup. Other than the Marshall piece, it was one big Chrysler advertisement. I winced, but lightly scanned over the effusive cup holder and electronics praises before tossing the thing in the trash (you're welcome, fellow dental pain sufferers). It turned out to be a sign.

While I can't be bought as easily as the Autoweek staff, I can be rented. In the midst of last week's juggling act, one more ball was tossed into the mix when I received a Mayday call from San Francisco. My girlfriend Shellski had brought her dog Rosie to the Bay Area with her, and the move we both believed would simplify the logistics of the trip backfired. Shellski was dealing with life-and-death family issues, and Rosie had become a liability. So I was drafted to bring the dog back home to Oregon.

As usual, I was as broke as an author can get, so Shellski had to pay for a rental car (as my beater is not to be trusted past its five mile fuse). Thus was presented my initiation into the car rental experience. The first day designated for the trip was spent crawling through a labyrinth of financial and insurance regulations, and passed without progress. Thanks to an assist from our pal Nurse Newman, the red tape was finally overcome on Day Two. I hit I-5 Southbound at the crack of 11:00 AM in a 2013 Chrysler 200 4-door sedan. By far, the newest car I've ever driven.



My first rental car deserves my first car review, so here we go. This reviewer finds the 200's styling to be wretchingly pedestrian, but for the ghastly grille, obviously sketched up by a former Gillette employee. A previous renter must have slammed it hard into a curb, as the left front shook like a hula girl in an earthquake from 60 to 77 MPH. I hit the first rest area on I-5 to check it out, then decided the violence was the only interesting aspect of the car, plus I was curious to learn how far it could go like that. I never once had to stir my coffee.

Popping the hood exposed this lump of plastic, boasting two VVT's. I guess that's twice as good as just one. It also has almost two and a half  L's. I'm now assuming this is the engine, though I first thought it to be an air conditioner. The carb, mag, and headers were completely hidden, which is pretty slick. That plastic head must be half the weight of an aluminum one! Kudos to Mopar for that. 


We car reviewers love to drone on about interiors. I like the clock. One must assume the shifter controls a Torqueflight, but the converter is way too tight on this thing for anything but freeway flight. I figured out the cruise control okay, but rarely found enough open road to enjoy it. It had stereo cup holders. The radio worked good. No cassette or even an eight track player though. Oh, the seats were comfy. As with the engine compartment, all interior rollcage tubing was cleverly hidden from view. Pretty impressive work, that.


I'd never heard of Chrysler's 200 before. My guess is this is a downgraded 300, which is supposed to be some kind of luxury/sport hybrid (I think). So when I saw the "200" badges and floormats, I was shocked that I'd rented a 200 MPH car. Or even a 200 MPG car. Or one of 200 made. But it turns out that "200" means "100 times less interesting than a 300". 

Initially refreshing, retro-deco styling now annoys me. I found this decklid badge and the clock to be marginally acceptable, if only because they break up the endless expanses of lame predictability.

I photographed this vehicle at every rest stop and failed to find its good side, or even an unawkward angle. Worst styling fail ever. And the details: Like everything from tennis shoes to reading lamps, must every modern object emulate a spaceship? Unnecessary head and tail light swoops are typical red flags. Has Trendy ever magically morphed into Timeless? Why polish a turd? Does Chrysler not have enough of a budget to start over when something isn't working? Um, they must have noticed this wasn't working, right?

I've always believed cars look their best at speed, and/or when shot from overhead. Sure enough, after scaling a trash can before stunned tourists, this is the least offensive angle of the 200. And it's still awful. The Ford pickup pulled in just as I clicked the shutter. Doh!

Ah, much better without the car. An action shot of California's majestic Central Valley (complete with dust-blowing tractor, which looks twice as good as the 200).

The return trip. Meet Rosie. She found the 200 to be luxuriously plush, quiet, and supple, even while wheezing up I-5 at 80 MPH with one wheel flopping. While I nervously anticipated the driveshaft's inevitable spearing of the trans tunnel, Rosie dozed for the entire six hour run and awoke absolutely refreshed. BONUS: I took this shot over my shoulder at speed, certain that it would be a blurred mess. Happy surprise!



Strange sights in the California sky. Media gripe #37,986: Does a meteor crashing into the city beyond the hills really need an exclamation point over it to make it dramatic? Great freeway shot I didn't get: A new black Corvette, tiptoeing back from Willows Raceway while stuck in first gear. It was doing about 25 MPH at an estimated 6,000 RPM with a long line of traffic behind it. I passed it three times that day. So the 200 can be considered a Corvette slayer. Why the snarky attitude regarding the 200? Because the snootier the review, the more credibility people read into it (a trick I learned from Mick LaSalle). In reality, I couldn't care less. I'm just happy to have Rosie back home. (Scotty shots)


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Marty Strode's construction of Pat Ganahl's Spalding Bros. tribute roadster is underway. This week: Front radius rods. Above is the original design.


Follow along kids, as Marty fabs a brand new set of hairpin radius rods, the Spalding way. Things are simple enough at the starting line, but how to blend the two tubes tastefully together? Rather than reinvent the wheel, Marty left the cute stuff on the table and followed the Spalding's beads.

Eyeballing the intersection. Look both ways before crossing that line...

... then cut like the wind with your bandsaw. 

Clamp and weld.

Add snappy gusset. Weld and grind to taste. Repeat. Marty already has a good start on the rails. Tune in next week to see a rolling chassis in action. Or maybe not. It'll be a surprise. (Photos courtesy of Marty Strode)



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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

Motormouth Ray's pals Honda John and Karen have discovered the perfect squirrel bait. They can't resist peanut butter, but it has to be Jif Creamy. You heard it here first. (Photo courtesy of Honda John and Karen)


This week's toolbox is a special return appearance of Frozen Bohemian's Cuda Bait three-drawer. Attention Chrysler executives: Note simplicity of design, allowing attitude to emanate from clean execution of crisp styling. Honesty trumps Pretense every time, whether car, toolbox, or tennis shoe. (Photo courtesy of Frozen Bohemian)

GRIN

Full disclosure: The author's point of reference for design and styling. As always, consider the source.

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