A TRUCKLOAD OF CHRISTMAS EGGBLOG

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Oh what fun it is to ride in a 500 horse open sleigh. Hauling a bed full of goodies home from the swap meet is just gravy on the turkey. (Photographer unknown)

In our holiday haste, it's too easy to forget the true meaning of Christmas. This is a holy time. A short respite from the worn teeth of the daily grind. A moment to set aside superficial distractions and focus on what really matters in our all-too-short lives. We have all year to spend time with family and friends, but only this single magical day to ignore the ringing phone while locked in the shop. A beautiful gift to savor. The most wonderful time of the year. The parts houses all feature deep holiday discounts, and shipping is often free! That's truly something to be grateful for. So we take a moment to thank Saint Nicholas for chasing the snakes out of Ireland, then get back to work before the game comes on.

Christmas isn't all shiny new drill bits and sparkling cutoff wheels though. It's really about the children. The year's exhaustive labor on our project cars becomes so worthwhile when we see those young faces light up with anticipation of dad being off their backs for the day. So everyone wins at Christmastime. A truckload of gratitude wouldn't be enough to repay our debt to the marketing geniuses who dreamed up this national holiday. Since there's no use in trying, we hereby slam the tailgate and just enjoy the truck.

A TRUCKLOAD OF CHRISTMAS STORIES

This is Art. He could leave his glasses on the bench and still build a nice blown flatty with one eye closed. 

Art (last name kinda rhymes with Christmas. Okay, it's Chrisman) could pop both eyeballs out of his head and still build a meanass blown hemi. He received this one for running the top speed at the first NHRA Nationals in 1955, and stuck it under his bench to save for a rainy day. It will go into brother Lloyd's F-1 truck, one of many F-1's the Chrismans have been spitting out of their Santa Ana, California shop lately.

Yes, Art and Lloyd share a chronic-level F-1 fetish. After building several show winners for customers, they're finally treating themselves. Lloyd actually bought this truck new in '52. The command center is already crawling with subtle trickery (check the T-bird dash), and it's just getting started.

Study this rear fender for a sense of the build quality. 

More sleight-of-hand has been performed on the nose, and more yet is to be revealed. Updates as they become available. Congrats to Art and Lloyd. It's about time. 

Here's how Art's personal truck came out. It runs a hemi built for a customer with cancer, who's last wish was for Art to install the engine into his own F-1. Done. Get the whole story at Hot Rod.com. (Photos courtesy of Hot Rod.com)

Speaking of old parts haulers fitted with blown hemis, remember this Jimmy Smith masterpiece, previously featured on the blog? (Image courtesy of Jimmy Smith)

The Dodge A-100 is currently coming together nicely in 3-D at Squeegs Kustoms in Chandler, Arizona. Paint will likely match that of the rafter fish. This truck makes us feel funny - you know - "down there". (Photo courtesy of Squeegs)

Jimmy Smith rendered his own '37 Ford truck years ago for future reference, but the future never arrived... (Image courtesy of Jimmy Smith)

...until now! Jimmy's been intensely focused on the build in recent weeks and with the help of devoted friends willing to pull all-nighters for pizza and beer, the '37 is quickly coming into focus. Congrats, Jimmy! Stance much? (Photo courtesy of Jimmy Smith)

In other old truck news, Marty Strode has finished up the sideboards for his '40 Ford...

...and he celebrated by whipping the pee out of brother Tom's Shetland motorbike while Tom was otherwise occupied. Marty: 1, Tom: 0. That score could very well change by next week. This ranks right up there with the best of the college bowl games for competitive entertainment. (Photos courtesy of Marty Strode)

Artist, musician and rod builder Tom VanNortwick also has visions of truckdom. He scratched them out and dived in. (Image courtesy of Tom VanNortwick)

Tom started his build four years ago, with this '29 roadster cowl...

... and today, it's hauling the goods. This vehicle has been a bad influence on the SGE Model A from the get-go. Congrats Tom! And thanks for the inspiration. (Photos courtesy of Tom VanNortwick)

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BREAKING NEWS FROM MR. X: 

Fuzzy spy photos are always intriguing, and we rarely give late model cars any love on the blog, so Merry Christmas. Our own Mr. X was trolling New York's Long Island area last week (on an unrelated assignment), when this plum crazy Mopar cut in front of him at speed: "I thought it was a new Challenger, until I saw the hockey stick on the side, then the tail lights, then the Cuda badge on the rear valence panel. This has to be one of those custom jobs, but it got me thinking..." Hey, as long as it kept you from falling asleep at the wheel again, we're okay with it. Thanks for the exclusive spy shots, X. Your check is being processed (as far as you know). (Photos courtesy of Mr. X)



A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (you're welcome)

For reasons unfathomable, I compulsively decided to test a typical online home remedy that claimed Off mosquito repellent to be a quick and affordable alternative to polishing faded late model headlight lenses. The lenses on my beater '98 Honda Civic were completely opaque, so with nothing to lose but my Mr. Magoo status, I tried it and it worked great! I shared this chemical breakthrough with girlfriend Shellski, and she asked for the treatment on her dimlitted 2004 Honda Accord. I jumped at the opportunity for heroship (and to snap the photos I didn't think to get of my own car). 

The patient, fresh from a 1,000 mile drive through California's central valley. I scraped off the bugs, washed, and dried. 

Working in a cool shaded area, I sprayed some Off onto a soft cloth and applied to the lens. Just as with my Civic, a nasty black skung instantly covered the cloth and the lenses sparkled like polished crystal. For a few seconds. Unlike my archaic Civic, the high tech Accord lens material was vulnerable to attack. In hindsight, it would have been preferable to spray the Off directly into my eyes, so I wouldn't see Shellski's disappointed face. So concludes Test #87 of my journey into modern technology. Same result as previous testing: I'm old. Next week: Making a phone call. (Scotty cell phone shots)

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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

We regret to inform you that the SGE Squirrels' highly anticipated feature film debut (scheduled for a Christmas day release) has been cancelled. Yes, this development is related to the North Korean cyber attack on Sony Pictures. That's all I can say, for now - other than the release date has been tentatively rescheduled for Mothers Day of 2015 (if the Northern hemisphere still exists by then).

No toolbox for SGE pal Jimmy Smith. His '37 pickup is being built with tools tossed into whatever container happens to be nearby, yet Jimmy is realizing a quality result on his build. If this makes you feel stoopid for spending thousands on your tools and storage, our work here is done. (Photo courtesy of Jimmy Smith)



UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

The SGE Nation is the most beautiful force of nature ever. Thanks to all who sent Christmas greetings this month. Here's a tiny sample of the heartwarming sweetness...

The best gift under anyone's Christmas tree since Buster Couch passed. Get yours at http://www.amazon.com/Show-Rod-Model-Kits-Showcase/dp/1613251564

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DNA SAMPLING IN THE VALLEY OF BEASTS

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Before federal emissions standards, dinosaurs roamed southern Oregon's Rogue Valley. Drive north over a few mountain passes, and you'd find more of the same in central Oregon's Willamette Valley. More than a million years later, their thunderous roars still terrify the populace. Not much has changed. Thank God. 

These cars and their owner/builder/drivers should probably be chained up somewhere. The day may very well come. Until then, beware of these loose cannons. They are an extremely dangerous influence on America's youth and the future of drag racing. PS: This is not a burnout. (Photo courtesy of Kleet Norris)

Adam Brenneman (left) drives the GTO. His brother Justin Brenneman (right) drives the Dodge (shown here in an earlier iteration). Neither the cars nor drivers seem to comprehend the true power they wield - a scenario that actually plays well to their strengths. 

Who to blame for the DNA. Father Mike Brenneman has been building muscle for several decades. His is the quiet voice of reason in this power management experiment gone astray. His sage advice, however, is often drowned out by screaming open headers. (Scotty shot)

Influence illustrated. When I dropped in on the Brenneman's B&B Speed Shop in Albany, Oregon on a bone-chilling January Sunday evening, a dozen of their friends and customers were happily shivering along in harmony with their heroes. All were previously rational human beings. (Scotty shot)

Speaking of customers, you can get your bone stock '36 Chevy six rebuilt at B&B...

...even though Hemis are the house specialty. For the record, Adam runs a bigblock Chevy in the Goat, and Justin's '64 Dodge packs Mopar max wedge power. (Scotty shot)

They'll scratch-build a front clip for your big block Nova...

... or backhalf your Dodge Demon.

This '41 Chrysler came in for a tune-up and left on a completely new chassis...

...but most of B&B's complete builds are done on purpose. The altered wheelbase Mopar here is headed back home to Ohio, after being B&B'd.

The story behind B&B's success is one of  family tradition: Justin's daughter Daisy's preferred mode of transportation is this home-brewed mini chopper.

Daisy may also have been inspired by brother Lincoln. He started young, too...

... which is good, because there's a lot of work to be done on Lincoln's 1st gen 'Cuda before it can hit the street and strip. He's on it, every chance he gets.

When he isn't sweating schoolwork or prepping his Cuda, Lincoln is pitching in around the shop. Assembling valvetrains is studly work (no matter your age), but Lincoln isn't above sweeping the shop floor either. The goal is to become the Brenneman's 3rd generation engine builder and make more power than his grandpa, dad, or uncle. (Photos courtesy of B&B Speed Shop)


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UPDATES

A short drive north of Albany, the Strode brothers' hot rod bicycle competition rages on. Tom's "Shetland" at left, and Marty's "Stallion" on the right.

After spotting Marty's new fuel tank on last week's blog, Tom insisted on one for the Shetland. He got it. (Photos courtesy of Marty Strode)

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Monumental news from my brother Rocky, out in Nebraska: After several years of bodywork performed on the lift at tinsmith Jimmy Vaag's Iowa shop, the former dirt track racer '33 5-window body has finally touched down to Earth, in pristine condition. Those Chevy hoodside vents are only the tip of the bodywork iceberg, with similar details jammed into every crook and nanny of the car. Rocky will be addressing chassis and drivetrain assembly chores...

...as soon as he makes a little more room in his miniscule home workspace (shown here in its entirety), which has served as a storage facility since the car went to Jimmy's place. He's made good progress so far, but Rocky still has some serious elbow grease expending ahead of him. The SGE nation is cheering you on, brother! (Photos courtesy of Rocky Gosson)

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The front '40 Chevy truck shock absorber assemblies are now finalized and tacked into place on the SGE Model A. My role model Doc Lockjaw and I designed and fabbed the mounting tabs (on the inside edge of the wishbones) to mock the theme of our other suspension mounting brackets. Time will tell if they actually function, but we're happy with the look. Reminder: This work is only roughed-in. Only after all components are properly located, will finish welding and other clean-up commence.

By far, the toughest challenge of the project to date has been photographing our progress in an active working environment. The action rarely slows in the flourescently lit Custom Metal shop. I'll be using the royalties from my first million-selling book to construct a combination fabrication shop and photography studio, expressly for such endeavors. Until then, good luck making sense of images like this. (Scotty shots)

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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

We project our own skewered sensibilities onto animals all the time. In reality, there's a reason the rest of the animal kingdom refers to squirrels as the "Chicken of the Trees". Hey, this segment can't be warm and fuzzy every damn week. Full disclosure: Squirrel was a staple of our dinner menu when I was growing up. We do what we gotta do. (Photo courtesy of USDA)

Fulltime hot rod legend Dave Shuten was in Japan this week for the Mooneyes car show thingie....

...so we considered it appropriate to bring back Dave's tool storage cabinet at Galpin Ford for an encore. We're not much on reruns, but this was worth it, just for the opportunity to post the above photo. (Photos courtesy of Dave Shuten)





UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

Fuel Altered test monkey Ronnie Mankins lives just up the street from me. As is the case with many of my friends, we rarely cross paths around town, but always seem to connect while out on the road. Go figure. Ronnie snapped this candid shot of me on the clock at Bakersfield, California. What you need to know about Bakersfield: The track is a few miles north of town, just off of Hwy 99. Buck Owens and Merle Haggard are the most famous non-racing residents. Milt's Cafe is the only place to eat. 

Ronnie tracked progress of a recent local photo shoot as I toiled, oblivious. He did warn me as traffic approached on this County road.

Thankfully, Ronnie also caught my good side.

Post-shoot debriefing with principals Monty Wray (left) and Brian Watson: "It took me all morning to string wire downtrack for the timing cells, from the bed of a pickup. On Monty's first pass, he hit that little rise over there, jumped the ditch, and shot out into the field..." God, I love my job. (Photos courtesy of Ronnie Mankins)

This morning I received an advance copy of my next CarTech book. On the inside back cover is an About the Author blurb, wherein it is stated that I am "Currently on staff at Hot Rod Deluxe magazine". This is an unfortunate mistake on the part of whomever wrote the blurb. I am not now - nor have I ever been - on staff at any of the TEN ("The Enthusiast Network") publications that I freelance content to. I only wish I were, and that ambition is well known in the industry, making this gaffe a particularly disturbing development. The book is printed and is currently shipping to distributors for a January release. I can only ride out this confusion until the second printing of the book (should there be one) and make corrections at that time. My sincere apologies for any confusion and ensuing false perspective of my employment status and/or character. Scotty

The book in question. Everything in it is shockingly true! Except the blurb on the inside back sleeve. Caveat #2: I'm not responsible for the cover art. Important point #3: Makes a perfect Christmas gift. (Image courtesy of CarTech Inc.)

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