Friday, April 27, 2012


Guy sitting at computer in bathrobe and slippers: "The SGE blog doesn't have much new content anymore. This sucks. It used to be an okay site, but now this... what a #*^% ripoff."

Guy's Wife: "Oh Honey, that's so sad. But maybe it'll clear up enough time on your schedule to look for a job? If you get one, we can buy food and pay the rent!"

Guy: "Oh jeeze, I don't think I could do that to my Facebook friends..."

Hello, I'm Scotty Gosson, President of Scotty Gosson Exposed Industries. Sadly, what you've just read is a re-enactment of a conversation that's happening in millions of homes around the world today. I'd like to take advantage of this opportunity to apologize directly to you for our recent lack of content. This delay is due to current deadline commitments for our primary sponsors, CarTech Inc and Hot Rod Deluxe magazine. You all deserve an explanation and it's simply a nasty case of Deadline Fever. It's one of the rare negatives of the publishing industry, but one that affects real people, like you. You have my personal assurance that my crack staff and I are doing everything humanly possible to make our April 30th deadlines. Expect a thought provoking new blog post on May 1st, featuring behind-the-scenes poop on the issues that you care about most. You have my personal guarantee on that, or my name isn't Orville Redenbacker.

       Remember the shit storm that was stirred up when the manuscripts for these books were due?
Who could forget the SGE riots of 2010 and 2011? Those were dark times for sure, but I believe we've all learned some hard lessons and grown since then.

This time, I'm finishing up a swell new book for Cartech that I can't discuss yet, due to corporate paranoia. We're also deep into negotiations over the next book project, which promises to be a real blockbuster! While this is going on, I'm putting the finishing touches to a really neato tech story for HRD that you'll be referring to for ages. Sure, the tension and sleep deprivation are a little stressful, but it's a labor of love, because I'm doing it for you.

Graphic proof of Deadline Fever, from a study the University of Oregon Department of Departmentalization is conducting on the effects of this very deadline:

                                                   Subject (me) 7 days before deadline

                                                         Subject 6 days before deadline

At the 5 day mark, the doctors and students aborted the study and somehow escaped from the SGE compound. Some charges have been filed, so I'll likely be skipping a few blog entries to attend my court hearings. My apologies in advance for that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make some more coffee and return to work. And at some point, I have to wash this bathrobe! Gack!