THE TRAGIC FAILURE OF PLAN A, PLAN B, ETC.

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Scotty, on the clock. I suspected the ominous ticking was leading up to something...

... and sure enough, everything is different now. Again.

Despite two weeks of frantic searching, I've failed to locate my blogging cap, so have conjured this lame attempt to catch up. Now, I'm well aware that you didn't wander into this post to read about my personal tribulations, so will keep this brief: I'm far beyond the half-track marker, and seem to have also blasted right past the midlife crisis turnoff. I now find myself at an unexpected crossroads. At the risk of coming off as pretentiously cryptic, the near future could find me in a state of long overdue stability, or impending crisis. It's just too early in the process to even discuss yet. So I won't.

I can say that I'm not where I planned to be at this stage in life. Luckily, I receive daily reminders that my little schemes are laughable in the big picture. Accepting life on life's terms has been key to my serenity so far, and I'll continue to keep my head down, my mouth shut, and jump through the assigned hoops with my spirit open to the possibilities. All of which is illustrated by the following visual metaphors from the Department of Good Intentions. Sometimes our plans get changed for us. And most times, no matter how painful change can be to look at, it still reveals beautiful lessons to us...

During my recent downtime, I became obsessed with online surfing of abandoned car imagery and binge-collected a ton of it. As usual, no photo credits were given, other than the occasional watermark. The above image represents how I imagined my life might look at 59 years of age. The photos below convey the reality I must now embrace, ready or not.

I've become so obsessed with gathering these photos that they may become a regular feature on here. Stay tuned.

Hey, the SGE Model A! Good to see you again, buddy. It's been way too long. I still have big plans for you. With some luck, we'll get together again soon, I hope... (Scotty shot)

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UPDATES

While time slips through my desperate fingers, I savor watching my friends flourish - a beautiful sight to behold.

When we last peeked into local pal Twisty Ron Austin's one-car garage, work was progressing briskly on customer Steve Marcus' Austin Bantam altered. This was the view after Twisty reshaped the quarter panels and stretched the cowl nine inches. Radical surgery, but Twisty says, "These crucial steps will be rewarded." He isn't bluffing.

Now Mr. Twisty is finishing-up the tinwork, in typical OCD fashion. The obvious guideline is to match or exceed the quality level of Twisty's chassis and body work. On target!

The Bantam's new firewall reflects the precision required to accommodate packaging challenges so minute that every millimeter equals a mile. There are dozens of such puzzles to juggle, at every turn.

What appears to be the ultimate mother-in-law seat will actually be hugging Mr. Marcus, to shield him from the unspeakable.

Like most Ron Austin Fabrication projects, Marcus' altered will sport one of Twisty's signature bulletproof sheetmetal rearends. "Friend" Ron Austin on Facebook and contact him for your bucket list build. (Photos courtesy of Ron Austin Fabrication)

Breaking News from Slightly Twisted Racing: Twisty Ron's championship trophy collection is taking up too much shop space, so he's passing the butterfly on to longtime pal and crewman Brandon "Moe" Pereira for the 2016 season, while he cleans out the garage. Before any competitors sigh in relief, they should consider Moe has been joyriding the Fiat for a number of years, is fully licensed, and can match R/Ts and ET slips with Twisty any day of the week. While Twisty Ron's new title is "Crewchief", he still prefers "Sir Champion".  (Photo courtesy of John Tarr)

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Speaking of Fiat frivolity, Portland-area Fabmaster Marty Strode still hasn't started on this little guy, due to an endless parade of pesky customers. Damn the luck! On the upside, I have another addition to my orphaned car photo collection.

The latest at Marty's shop is a street/strip'68 hemi Dart that Show & Go legend Lonnie Gilbertson is building for his buddy Jim Patrice. When faced with the power-to-weight ratio of the build, Lonnie hauled it straight to Marty's for a certifiable rollcage.

Marty's fitness program consists largely of TIG welding rollcages in door cars. Think about it. Building a ship in a bottle like this while running the TIG pedal with your knee and/or elbow is the mark of the dedicated hardcore. The result is a physique reminiscent of Jack LaLane and/or James Brown. Or the Brennaman brothers. 

While in Strode mode, Gilbertson had Marty whip up mounts for the A-100 style seats, "Like the original factory race cars". These units nail the vibe while improving on the original design.

Moments after kicking out the Dart, world renowned bee keeper and romance novelist Jim Lindsay appeared with his dad's old Model A roadster pickup (looking every bit a lakes modified here) in need of Marty's expertise: "He called on me to build an exhaust system for the Model B engine that his dad (the late Grant Lindsay) installed during its restoration. His plans also involved the fabrication and installation of a (dropped) belly pan." That's what you get for answering the phone.

Marty kicked off the belly pan project with these 3/4" OD (.065" wall) mounts...

 ... then wrapped the tubing in .050" 5052 aluminum, fresh from the sheetmetal brake.

After experiencing a beautiful case of the bends, the pan is mocked-up in the shop...

... and under the truck. Bonus: Besides cheating the wind, the deep drop allows for a much more comfortable driving experience.

Completed belly pan assembly, as viewed from rear of cab. Mission accomplished. Next...

... the scratch-built exhaust system for Lindsay's 'banger, emanating from what appears to be a cast iron header. You know the drill here: Measure, mark, cut, adjust, repeat.

Ta da!

The finished product should scavenge exhaust pulses effectively, while guaranteeing period correctness.

It's the little things. Marty's exhaust hangers are spot on in every way.

For a collector, Strode dipped into his past: "I used an inner driveshaft tube from a '35-'36 Ford. That was the exhaust pipe of choice back then."

With the air gap between the belly pan and pipe serving as an insulator, exhaust heat should be of minimal concern. But decibels will fall out perpendicular to passenger's right ear. Will the truck get Midasized? Stay tuned.

The end? Yes. For now.

While Marty and I both dig the lakes modified look, Lindsay will likely be re-bedding the truck. He'll need the storage space, as plans include runs to The Race Of Gentlemen at Pismo Beach, California and the Hot Rod Hillclimb at Georgetown, Colorado. My 2016 itinerary also includes those events, among others. Will we see Lindsay's truck on the road to these gigs? Naw, he'll probably trailer it. That's right Jim, I'm calling you out! (Photos courtesy of Marty Strode)

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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

I'm not the only squirrel in town who finds abandoned cars irresistible. Perhaps someone some day will resurrect this rodent-infested Pontiac and return it to its former glory. Perhaps not. It would be a crying shame to see this classic just rot away...

Yet another victim of my corroded tin binge, this truckload of Snap On tools and boxes must have delivered countless joy and regret to its recipients. Few things in life are as inspirational as a new toolbox. And fewer things take longer to pay for. The cover charge is steep, but once you're in, you're in for good.

GRIN

At this writing (1-25-2016), Ye Olde Blog has amassed 101,057 hits. Those would be pathetic daily numbers for a mainstream blog, but are a major milestone for this little part-time kitchen table endeavor that began in 2010(ish). I've long planned on killing this life-draining page at the 100K mark, so the timing feels providential. But can I actually pull the trigger? I really don't know. While I twist on that conundrum, just know that the entire SGE family thanks you for dropping in to see us. If not for your interest and support, there would be no reason to surf the net for squirrel photos. And therefore, no reason to get out of bed in the morning. So, a hundred thousand slaps on the back to the wondrous SGE Nation, and to Motormouth Ray, CC, Marty Strode, Twisty Ron Austin, Doctor Lockjaw, Lori Bentley Law, Maria Panova, and all of the other freelance contributors who have helped build this limp rag into the binary code powerhouse that it has become. You are all rulers, and I am your ever-grateful cheerleader. Thank you all. (Image courtesy of Bob Higginson)

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CLOSED FOR REPAIRS

Dear readers: While we were out of the office, some changes have been made to our last post, "The Photojournos". Scroll down to it (below this post) for important updates. 

Scotty Gosson is on hiatus. Some clean-up will be necessary. Hoping to be back on track soon.

And here's hoping your New Years celebration was as much fun as mine! - Scotty
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THE PHOTOJOURNOS

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If the late Dennis Hopper can play a photojournalist, so can I. He looks the part more than me (and probably makes more money), but I have a weekly blog, whereas Hopper only appears in a film every few years. So there. (Photographer unknown)

NOTE: Since this piece originally published, some of the principals in the story have contacted SGE with clarifications, which now set the record somewhat straighter. Kinda. Thanks guys! - Scotty 1/12/2016 

Tools of the trade. Not shown: Divorce, bankruptcy, malnutrition, and premature death.(Photographers unknown)

(Photographer unknown)

"Photographer unknown" has to be the saddest phrase in all of photojournalism. These heroic daredevils risk it all for the sake of illustrating our passion to the masses, and for what? A laughable paycheck (when there is a paycheck), and the occasional photo credit. In my print work, I go to great lengths to acquire signed releases from every contributing photographer. Most SGE blog shots are "borrowed" from friends (personal and otherwise) who have already posted them online. Alas, a surprisingly large number of the photos I find are uncredited. That breaks my heart. With enough effort, I can compose a lucid sentence, but have always struggled mightily with the camera. It's a machine as complex and precarious as a computer, an atom bomb, or a piano. I don't know an f-stop from a throttle stop, and the photographic learning curve is way steep for a mouthbreather more versed in hammers and torches. Thus, my plea to the humans of Earth: If you know who shot an uncredited photo, please speak up and make it right.

Below are some hot rod shuttermasters from my hero list. Irony: They represent dozens more that I don't have photos of. Several of these lensmen and shuttergals have passed tips and trade secrets on to me, for which I am eternally grateful, but am just not skilled enough to employ.

Gray Baskerville downplayed his photo skills, yet always produced images that conveyed his passion vividly. What else can one ask of a photographer? (Photographer unknown)

Jeff Smith has actually pioneered some of the tech feature photo techniques that we take for granted today. He's testing an experimental Simpson firesuit here in his venerable Chevelle. (Photographer unknown)

Mister Smith, exposing his more human side, on the clock. (Photographer KNOWN: Courtesy of Dave Wallace Jr., who confesses, "I shot Jeff in his bitchin backyard shop/office building." Smith explains the 'Look Stock' plate was a welcome-to-CC gift from departing staffer Al Kirschenbaum, who got it from Rick Voegelin: "Rick gave it to me when he left. Perhaps I was supposed to give it to the next guy in line, but this came from two of my heroes, so I kept it! AK was the very first CC staffer I spoke to when I made my first phone call to those hallowed fifth-floor offices." Al Kirschenbaum chipped in this bit of background clarity: "Jeff's plaque was manufactured by my brother Steve, when he worked for an outfit called 'Hot Press/Design-a-Sign' in Manhattan during the late-Sixties. The hot-pressed plastic plaque was one of a short series with appropriated sayings that included, 'On the Seventh Day, God Created the Hemi' and 'Sundays Will Never Be the Same', among others. Note that all were fabricated from non-Asian-sourced materials, so some have survived well into this next century.") Future inquiries regarding Smith's plaque should be directed to Wikipedia.com and/or the "Jeff Smith's Plaque" Facebook page.

Rob Kinnan and friend celebrate yet another issue of (fill in favorite magazine) being put to bed. Like many of us, Kinnan seems more comfy at the keys than the shutter, but still gets the job done.  (Photographer unknown)

Hey, photojournos are people too, with exhaust valves in need of occasional service. Gotta blow off some steam to keep your balance. (Photographer unknown)

Cole Coonce in his element - the media center at Famoso Raceway. I've also spent some rehab time in this Central Valley oasis, and am eternally grateful for the A/C, hydration and nourishment. (Photographer unknown, courtesy of TheLastDragStrip.com)

Trackside reporting is the norm for roving drag scribes like Coonce, et al. Home is where the laptop is. (Photographer unknown)

Mike Bumbeck got an early start, just like Yours Truly. He did more with the holeshot advantage than I did though. (Photographer unknown)

The prolific Pam Conrad (with nitro whisperer Jimmy Pflueger) rarely gets to sit down, but when she does, she makes it count.  (Photo courtesy of Darrell Conrad)

Whenever/wherever photojournos gather, there will be trouble. This deceptively tame example from the 1990 Car Craft All Star banquet is narrated by my personal trainer, Dave Wallace Jr: "I can (barely) remember 1990, and the fact that our CC table was referencing the extended-tongue photo of IHRA prexy Billy Meyer that had just been printed in my Drag Racing Magazine editorial. Clockwise around the table, from left: Ron Lewis, Dave Wallace Sr, Sky Wallace, Steve and Laura Earwood, Steve Collison, Francis Butler, Don Gillespie, Jeff Burk, and my DRM successor, Brian Hatano. These Indy Week banquets were always a blast, attended by everybody on Thursday night. Political correctness not found here!" (Photographer KNOWN: courtesy of Dave Wallace Jr.)

Wallace Jr, on the clock at Fremont Drag Strip. He paid for this shot with his right eardrum, but claims it was worth it. It made the cover of Hot Rod Magazine. The full story is told in Lost Drag Strips II, now available for pre-order from amazon.com. (Photographer KNOWN: Courtesy of Sky Wallace!)

Spike Kilmer and I have teamed up on some projects with good results. We're currently working on yet another magazine piece. Spike is sighting-in Aaron Grote's '38 Plowboy Special here. Look for a feature on Spike here soon... (Photographer uncertain, but it's probably Plowboy)

We Did It For Love.com emperor Don Ewald is that rare photojourno who drove the strips for decades before shooting them. Unbeatable cred. (Photographer unknown)

 Mister Ewald also has a knack for putting a subject into perspective. (Photographer unknown)

 Some youthful energy has recently been injected into the office-pool via of a fresh wave of  (pre-cynical) photojournalists such as Chris Shelton (okay, he's pretty cynical)...  (Photographer unknown)

... Kleet Norris... (Photographer KNOWN: courtesy of Kleet Norris)

... Holly Martin...  (Photographer unknown)

... and Maria Panova (Photographer unknown)

The above are but a smattering of my shoot-it-and-write-it heroes. There are too many to list on one blog post. Below are a couple of the local yokel mentors I get to hang with on a regular basis.

Dennis Vollmar began following the national drag race circuit before I was old enough to hold a camera or a wrench. (Photographer unknown, but it might be me)

 In recent years, Dennis has volunteered his services at our local track (Champion Raceway). I captured him at his usual perch, but he's actually everywhere, all the time. (Scotty shot)

Mary Wilkins-Kelly shoots everything but cars, yet has been a huge inspiration and influence. She knows photography inside and out, and has generously shared her insights and experiences with this cub reporter. That's what keeps the wheels turning. (Photographer unknown)

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UPDATES

The Christmas tornadoes that danced through the south took no mercy on Holly Springs Motorsports Drag Strip in northern Mississippi. Track managers Terry and Carol Forsythe lost their trackside home to the twister purported to be nearly a mile wide as it ripped through the town of Holly Springs, leaving several injuries and at least one fatality in its wake. These images came courtesy of Dragzine.com, who did not credit the photographer. (Photographer unknown)

SGE pals Bangshift.com reported last week that Douglas, Wyoming's Motorsports Park is no more. The track provided thirty years of service to Mountain West racers and fans before becoming a nuisance to city fathers intent on developing the land. Bangshift's Brian Lohnes quips, "While it may be shocking to think that Wyoming only had one active sanctioned quarter-mile  drag racing facility, the population is really what dictates stuff like this. The track closing was not about the attendance as much as it was about the municipality owning the land that the track was on." One could write a book about all of the strips that have closed across America in recent years. It would make for a heartbreaking obituary, but at least these precious playgrounds would be saluted for posterity. (Photographer unknown)

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SQUIRREL AND TOOLBOX

Renowned squirrel photographer Ansel Adams (purportedly a distant shirt tail cousin to Grizzly Adams) recently submitted this rare action shot of his family pet,"Lil Grizz". Pretty dynamic shootin', Adams. Just don't quit your day job. (Photo courtesy of Ansel Adams)

Chassis designer and fabricator Bob Thrash was shooting his rollaways for us when photobombed by an in-progress '61 Impala. Tough break, but don't give up, Bob. It happens. Maybe we can squeeze in a shot of the box next week. Meanwhile, the bodywork is lookin' good on the Chevy. Shop could use a little tidying-up though. (Photo courtesy of Bob Thrash)


UPSIDEDOWN GRIN

If you haven't heard, we lost The Goodguy to a heart attack this weekend. Goodguys Rod & Custom Association founder Gary Meadors played a pivotal-if-controversial role in establishing nostalgia drag racing as a viable alternative/backlash to the big show. He also produced some car shows. As usual, Gary's doing the driving here, while his passenger takes it easy. Godspeed, Goodguy. (Photographer unknown)


GRIN

(Photographer unknown)

(Photographer unknown)

(Photographer unknown)

(Photo courtesy of Maria Panova)

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