Monday, July 15, 2013

FEAR IS A LIAR. MAY INTUITION BE YOUR GUIDE.

Catch-phrases that live long enough to become cliches only do so because their truth can not be denied...

Fear of falling off a timing tower into a flaming burnout box seething with panicked rattlesnakes is reasonable enough (and more common that you'd think). But most other fears are irrational childhood baggage, serving only to distract us from our potential. If we're true to ourselves and open to possibilities, any fear can be seen for what it is and readily dismissed. When I finally achieved a glimpse of that awareness, I learned about trust and began taking regular leaps of faith to celebrate it. Which brings us to today's main topic.

 How to provide SGE readers with honest behind-the-scenes insight into automotive journalism without biting the hand that feeds me? It can't be done. So for a number of years now, I've gambled my career on a policy of full disclosure, on this blog and in all of my affairs. Nothing to hide. Most subjects have embraced this ethos and shared freely of their experiences here for your amusement  (rightly assuming that nobody has time to read this thing, anyway). A couple of SGE guests have arrived bearing promotional agendas, but I deemed them interesting enough to introduce to the readership. They operated on a separate standard, but were entertaining. So far, so good.

This week, I risked possible jail time to procure the following photos of prominent automotive journalists in somewhat compromising situations, because I felt that you deserve to see how your favorite publications operate. I downloaded the photos, studied the images, and pondered the ethical and legal implications. It comes down to this: SGE profits in no way from the images or text it publishes. The vast majority of images are photographed by myself and are posted knowing that I will not be using them in any other manner. You like something I've posted and want to download it? Fine by me. I'm honored, and thank you for spreading the word! If the following individuals and/or their handlers protest this post, I'll take my lumps. If nothing else, such drama will provide future blog fodder.


Actual layout for Car Craft Magazine cover. This is how magazines are made. And also where babies come from, according to certain anonymous industry insiders.

Top Secret Hot Rod Magazine staff meeting. What are they hiding from you? Why are readers not represented at such assemblies? Why don't they show their faces? What's the square root of 37?

Hot Rod staffer Mike Finnegan, obviously enjoying Editor-in-Chief David Freiburger's public humiliation of an endangered species, on stage, in front of a cheering audience. Their mothers must be so proud.

Hot Rod's Crusher Camaro was on it's way to being destroyed to help our environment heal, when staffers procured it and installed a gas guzzling blown big block. It's been emitting hydrocarbons coast-to-coast ever since. Toast it when drinking your next bottle of water to stave off the effects of global warming.

The Camaro caper was followed by a saga of depraved decadence involving this innocent Buick, corrupted into a gas pump-dependent thrill slave, then abandoned. The story was relayed in a decidedly sophomoric vein - I believe they find this debauchery to be humorous



Car Craft Magazine Publisher Ed Zinke flaunts extravagant lifestyle, while starving staff photographer obediently follows orders. This is what your subscription is paying for.

Car Craft Editor Doug Glad (infamous for sadistic office policy) finally instituted a Casual Friday dress code last November - a token gesture and blatant insult to underpaid staffers (and unpaid interns). In his defense, Glad cut enough of last year's budget to produce the excellent Elapsed Times special issues, already bound for collector status. He's still a total Nazi, but wears it well.

Dennis Pittsenbarger's Hot Rod Live radio show budget was slashed to support Group Publisher Doug Evans' obsessive Scotch tape collecting habit. Pittsenbarger was consequently evicted from his studio apartment and has been living in a motorhome since February. 

   Pittsenbarger's unheated home has no electricity and is said to be infested with rabid rodents (AKA "dinner"). Neighbors report regular sightings of Pittsenbarger drinking heavily on his back porch in a bathrobe (though it may have been John Dianna).

Note emaciated condition of Hot Rod Deluxe model, reduced to nibbling on printing overstocks (lightly buttered with reduced-fat spread). Heartbreaking. 

The noose seems to tighten hardest around those necks most in need of some slack. That would be the freelance contributors, in my heavily biased opinion. Cole Coonce is seen leaving his new scaled down apartment, on way to office. The master of nitro journalism now commutes by bicycle.



Car Craft staffers (L-R) John McGann, Jeff Smith, Taylor Le and nameless intern, enduring yet another marathon telling of Ed Zinke's favorite cheeseburger discoveries. This particular opus wasted an entire lunch hour.


SourceInterlink was forced to increase news stand pricing 15% to pay for a month of lost productivity last winter while (L-R) Brandon Gillogly, Jesse Kiser, Freiburger and Finnegan engaged in a beard growing contest, documented hourly via photos by Taylor Le. 


During his stellar reign as Hot Rod Deluxe Magazine editor, Dave Wallace Jr. has toiled and slept in the back of this decrepit Ford van (wedged between vehicles in Famoso Raceway pits). Talk about "We did it for love"!  

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Previously on the SGE blog, a mention was made of the Motor Mouth radio show, a grassroots level production created by a hot rodder (Ray Guarino) and a restorer (Chris Switzer). The balance realized by these bookended heroes of the automotive microcosm is to be admired, allowing accessibility to all. While I relate to Ray and have become friends with him, Chris' resto sensibilities are so foreign to me (and visa versa) that we've kept our distance, for the most part. Well, I feel there's no room for divisiveness in this hobby, as we're all in it together and our strength lives in our numbers. So today I'm reaching out to Chris with an olive branch salute to the restorers. What does a dimwitted punkass street racer like myself know of restoring a classic car? Not much. Only this:

Every business tends to lean on the bank account of it's most well heeled customer. At the shops I've been lucky enough to work in, these patrons were crudely referred to as Sugar Daddies. One such sponsor supported the entire business at an anonymous shop where I plied the trade. We had built three full customs for Mr. X when he brought us an incredible barn score: A '57 Corvette with 23 actual miles on it. This was circa 2002. Though virtually untouched mechanically, the 'glass body had deteriorated badly while sitting under rafters constantly populated with flocks of birds - you do the math. We performed a full-on resto over a year's time and when the big day arrived, guess who got to slide behind the wheel and put mile number twenty four on the Vette. That's right,  the dimwitted punkass street racer/shop grunt was the only employee experienced in driving a dual quad stickshift lightweight. That was a landmark day for me: I so wanted to wring it out, but conjured up some unknown discipline out of respect for the car and customer. I played nice and slept well that night.

To repay that invaluable gift and lesson of restoration, I submit the following treasures from my top secret Corvette stash (my condolences to peers sickened to learn that I have a Corvette stash) - images likely never witnessed by Chris Switzer's virgin eyeballs. Chris, today you are a man! You're welcome. But you owe me. Big time!

  General Motors designed, built, and promoted the Corvette as "America's Sports Car" - intended to terrorize public roadways and race courses. How these born warriors became bastardized into pampered princess poodles is one of automotive history's saddest chapters, or greatest shows of respect, depending on who you ask. Luckily, hot rodders and drag racers kept the badass bully image intact by torturing untold T-birds, Mustangs, Panteras and Cobras with the plastic Chevys - until they were deemed trendy investments by blue chip collectors and pried from the hands of their intended demographic. 

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COMING ATTRACTIONS:

   Walt Arfons (left) passed on in June, at 96 years old. Bonneville won't be the same. But it'll still be jumpin'!

Bonneville Speed Week is only a few short weeks away, and this year's edition promises plenty of the sleight-of-hand ingenuity and passion-fueled record busting you've come to expect since 1949, plus a couple of truly epic extra-special features. For starters, this year will see the largest gathering of 400+ MPH contenders ever...

Danny Thompson (son of Mickey and carrier of the piston-driven land speed record torch) has updated his dad's old Challenger II streamliner and readied it for a vicious attack on the record books. Danny plans to chase the record that vexed Mickey (409+MPH in 1968) this fall at Mike Cook's Shootout - a private FIA event - but might bring the new-gen Challenger II to Speed Week for display, and just may make some shakedown runs. For the record, Danny states, "I don't really care about winning the class. I want to be the fastest person out there, period."


Under M/T's tenure, the Challenger II (replacement for the quad engined Challenger I) ran stereo blown 427 Ford engines. Danny's AWD Challenger 2.5 version runs two naturally aspirated nitro Hemis, each making a conservative 2,000 HP.  

Dark wizard of chassis science Kent Fuller has also updated an old favorite for action - the streamliner he's been toying with for decades as a part-time hobby project, which has not turned a tire under power, as of this writing. Funded in part by a Kickstarter public pledge project, 79 year old Fuller and his 14 year old grandson Greg vow to have the 'liner on the salt (for its maiden voyage) to run down the class record as payback to the hundreds of investors and helpers that have finally made his vision a reality.


Fuller's been kicking out dragster, landspeed, and other racing chassis since 1956, for a wide variety of customers. His personal streamliner project only received sporadic attention in between customer cars, so it's been a slow build. Driver Andy Davis will be positioned horizontally and peer through a periscope to guide Fuller's dream down the course. A single unblown flathead on nitro is responsible for eclipsing the Vintage Fuel Streamliner record of 280+ MPH.

Towing out from New Jersey in high fashion, the Gyronaut X-1 Triumph motorcycle streamliner will attempt to recreate (original builders/racers) Bob Leppan and Alex Tremulis' 1966 245+ MPH  record run. A recent restoration/updating at Ida Automotive rates up there with Thompson and Fuller's efforts, but the Gyronaut X-1 is certain to win the Coolest Tow/Push Vehicle competition, as an Ida Automotive Tucker will be pressed into service to fill that need.

Roy Steffey, Maynard Rupp and Gene Logge built the Gyronaut X-1 chassis in '64. Twin Triumph engines from Leppan's Cannibal II drag bike powered the lil liner from '63 to 1970. Together, they dynoed at 130 HP in '66. The rear wheel was chain-driven (ironically, the weak link in the drivetrain). Leppan was nearly killed when the front suspension failed at 270 MPH in 1970. He survived to eventually begin the restoration of the Gyronaut, ultimately finished by Rob Ida. Bonus: 67 years before, Alex Tremulis helped Preston Tucker design his car. In 2013, Sean and Mike Tucker (Preston's great-grandsons) helped restore the Gyronaut, now owned by Steve Tremulis, Alex's nephew. Rob Ida's grandfather owned a Tucker dealership = A full circle connection! 

If you notice a confused guy wearing a Tilton Engineering hat wandering aimlessly around the salt, stop me and say Hi. I'd love to meet you!

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NEXT WEEK: The fun machine has no OFF switch! Until then, amigos!!!





Tuesday, July 9, 2013

HONORING INDEPENDENCE, CLICHES AND ALL



The fire in the sky on the fourth of July
Wakes up the holy night
Down on the ground a crowd gathers 'round
Looking up at the light
Holding hands we tap our toes to the band
And take the pledge of allegiance

There's a big wheel up in the sky
Looking down on our flag waving wide and high

Christmas eve we pack up and leave
But there's snow on the pass
It's go man go through the ice and the snow
Leaning hard on the gas
Pray to the heavens and open our presents
And take the pledge of allegiance

There's a big wheel up in the sky
Looking down on our flag waving wide and high

Out on the edge of town our children lay down
Looking up at the grass
The daughters and sons of wars lost and won
Keeping the peace at last
Play taps fold up the flags and we pack up our bags
And hit the road for the holiday

There's a big wheel up in the sky
Looking down on our flag waving wide and high

Big Wheel - copyright 2005 Gosson Bros Racing Library

And what a week it was. To a backdrop of thirty-some million frustrated Egyptians sorting out their jangled democracy experiment, countless hotdog eating contests were waged here in the land of the sleepwalk and the home of the dial tone. Such Yankee ritualism may have been lost on the Egyptians, but was awarded with lead story headlines here at home, right alongside Edward Snowden and just behind George Zimmerman (neither of which will likely get their mug on a Wheaties box). And behind the scenes, history unfolded at the SGE compound, as e-mailed files flew under the NSA radar and the Gosson Bros Racing Library inched closer to opening its doors to a public ravenous for the truth. Sweet justice, all around.

At high noon on Independence Day, I had to make a hard cross-shift into spam mode for a radio interview to promote CarTech's Show Rods book. The verbal showdown played out on the Motor Mouth radio show out of Long Island, New York, hosted by Ray Guarino and Chris Switzer - two lifelong gearheads so hardcore that they do the show for free, on their day off, just to get word out to the people. BRAVO! In the days leading to and following the show, I connected with Ray and found him to be a real deal hot rodder. Chris seems a solid stand-up citizen himself, but is an admitted restorer, so you can imagine the suspicious wariness between us. Regardless, we all had a blast bustin' each other's chops, even though Chris and Ray enjoyed a sizable timezone advantage, having awoken me at a Godforsaken hour in the name of airtime scheduling. Real funny, guys. It wasn't even noon yet, but I somehow soldiered through it while gargling the previous day's coffee grounds.

Promoting books is pedestrian enough, but in the process of getting to know Chris and Ray, something very important became instantly apparent: The patter and chatter of these two vastly knowledgeable characters would make nice up-grades for "Click" and "Clack" (obviously ashamed to use their real names!) and their old Car Talk show on National Public Radio. With their New England/Italian accents, Chris and Ray would be plug-and-play replacements, with the huge bonus of actual interesting cars being knowledgeably discussed. I hereby challenge NPR to listen to we the people, who want to listen to them the Motor Mouths..... you know what I mean. C'mon! Who's with me? Before you answer that, listen to them in action for yourself: http://www.motormouthradio.com/ Then, suggest this bolt-in swap to NPR and qualify to win a dream date with Nina Totenbag!

While virtually connecting via e-mail, Ray and I played digital show & tell with photos. This '65 GTO is one of his many projects to have survived the years. He's still tweaking it. At a glance, this is way more interesting than any car I've heard about on Car Talk. 


The primered 4-speed '55 Nomad has been with Ray forever. I'm nerfing him toward installing the injected Pontiac engine in the 'mad. Black primer, bumper-delete and aggressive rolling stock: Timeless. Molded grille surround/spoiler and trendy wheels on the '57: Period piece. Your preference? Discuss...

The moving boxes are still being uncrated at the new SGE World Headquarters. Many hold treasures unseen by human eyes for many years. One particularly personal discovery was a piece of correspondence batted back and forth between hot rod artist/drag racer Pete Millar and myself in the 1990s. Pete had agreed to critique my burgeoning Son of Godzilla comic books at the same time that my life was drawn into a vampirical black hole littered with rusty sheetmetal suspended in nitro fumes. My wristwatch hasn't worked since. Pete not only made time to right my pen, but also sent me a rare (and controversial) Isky T-shirt that he designed in the 60s, and a copy of what I believe was the last issue of Drag Cartoons released before his passing. Why don't they make heroes like that anymore? I take that back - the world is still well stocked with heroes. In fact, besides sharing his wonderful skills and outlook with us, Pete also left us his wife Orah Mae and daughter Robyn, who both work vigilantly to remind hot rodders in every zipcode that it's always Millartime!

Top three: Selected personal favorites from the Pete Millar box. Bottom: Robyn and Orah Mae Millar receive yet more awards honoring Pete, from Dave "Tuna Can" McClelland at the 2011 California Hot Rod Reunion. A lot of Pete's magic came directly from these gals. Awesome people, who deserve a trophy just for being themselves.

  Pete's Chicken Coupe delivered his message to readers with an immediate credibility. Does anyone know if the Chicken Coupe ever ran against the Big Daddy Roth/Bushmaster Yellow Fang rail???



The weekend was spent in the traditional holiday manner, torturing the neighbors with an unrelenting nightmarish din. In lieu of open headers at full song, we made do with precarious stacks of hastily wired power amps and dangerously overloaded speakers at James Drive Garage Studio. Now that the Asphalt Playground CD project is basically done, we've moved into promotion mode by mapping out a video project that will involve many of you. Yes, even YOU! Stay tuned for details.



 No weekend is complete without dropping a few hours at Dr. Lockjaw's Temple of Tetanus (AKA Jamie Ford's Custom Metal shop). We threw a few extra sparks in honor of the holiday and began adding crossmembers to my Model A frame (after shooting this photo). It's finally starting to look like something. If only I could squeeze a few more hours into the week...


In other news:
I began work on yet another CarTech book project this week, but it's classified Top Secret.
Some changes are coming in the magazine world that I can't discuss yet, but stay tuned to SGE.
Nostalgia Fuel Funny Cars ran this weekend at Champion Raceway, but I missed the show.
All is temporary. Savor this moment while it's here. I'll remind you again next week.

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